MADaboga – A hot double-header in DC

It is the time of year when the realization that we are well into summer but do no have summer bods causes a panic. For the Wheelers that means we get peppered with ClassPass invitations from Lisa.

The idea of only doing one workout per day is repugnant when the days are so long. At least that’s what we are told

So, on the hottest day of the year thus far, July 24th, we signed up for MADabolic and Flow Yoga Two studios spread between Dupont and Logan Circles in DC.

We’ve done MADabolic before. In October of 2016 we did a double header that included Zengo cycling in Clarendon. Ironically, we had a guest Wheeler then too. This time it was Mendy. She has been with us for other workouts and has been a good sport.

I have done my level best to swear off driving in DC . I did my time in the 3rd Street Tunnel when I worked in N.E. John was gracious enough to accept our demand that he drive. Being the hottest day of the year, the streets of DC were deserted, and the Farmer’s Market was closed. That’s a lie. The streets and sidewalks were packed with soft targets, and no one seemed to realize there were cars driving around them. Hats off to John for not winging any.

It was a struggle, but John found parking. After checking the parking signs and running them through the universal translator, we moved. Best we could tell there was no parking in that particular spot on hot Sundays when Mercury is in retrograde. We weren’t certain about Mercury, but thought it best not to take a chance. Top tip: if you need to park in DC, consult an astrologer.

We found parking soon after and had plenty of time to get to MADabolic the requisite 15 minutes early.

The door was a little confusing. There are a couple and they are covered with advertising, so there’s no view inside. One door has instructions to use the other door, and the other door only states the door will be locked during class. It’s a little comical that we all stood for a minute, afraid to try the door.

It was open, and there were cheerful but serious people there to greet us. They knew we were new. It may be because they know all the regulars, or they saw we were standing outside, afraid to try the door.

The front desk greeted us and had us fill out a paper (paper!) waiver and information form. We then had to sign an iPad for some sort of certain death waiver. They have one iPad, but it went quick.

They pointed us to the lockers and provided Mendy and me with bag gloves. John and Lisa brought gloves. I didn’t bring my bulky gloves this time, and the loaners were free. They’re also very light and easy to get on and off. MADabolic does not require wraps, so it’s a little gross. Like renting bowling shoes but no socks. They’re clean, but still.

Next, we were introduced to our Meg for the day. She was young, thin, fit, and serious. Meg had a bit of a military bearing about her, and it felt as if we were being interviewed for an arctic expedition. She takes your workout seriously, and that was apparent in how helpful she was during the workout. She also knew there were two additional newbies arriving soon, so she’d be busy.

Unlike when we went in 2016, this Meg took the time to explain more about the concept of MADabloic before we got the tour of the room.

MADabolic is something of an acronym. The “MAD” breaks down to Momentum, Anaerobic, and Durability. The “bolic” is part of anabolic. Loosely defined as something that promotes a constructive metabolism.

The momentum days will have exercises that gradually increase their speed and intensity. The anaerobic days will require a tougher pace. Staying power, and cardio more than strength.

We showed up on a durability day. Durability days require higher weight, slower movements, but longer intervals. We were thankful to be there on a D day with relatively short intervals. Our feeling of thanks lasted about one round.

Meg gave us a tour of the room, but no details of the workout. The main thing we needed to know was the color code. There are lanes for each station. Each lane is identified by a two pound plate that is painted to reflect the lane. Think of a large, iron golf marker.

The colors are White, Teal/White, Teal, Gray, and Black. The white is the lowest weight station. Black is the highest. For example, at a plate weight station, white may have a five- and 10-pound plate. Black may have 45 and 35. Meg instructed the group to go as heavy as we can, since it’s a durability day.

The stations and each workout are described on a board at the front of the class, but Meg and an assistant Meg demonstrated each station. Each station interval was one minute, 45 seconds

Station one used plate weights. It was a reverse lunge with an overhead press.

Station two used medicine balls. I’m struggling to remember the name (I called it zucchini carries), but the exercise requires cradling the ball in the crooks of the elbows and taking short side-steps about ten feet, up and back for the duration of the exercise.

Station three was box step-ups holding dumbbells. Meg was specific that there will always be one foot on the box. This was meant to go slow.

Station four was a body weight bear crawl. Grade school gym exercise, but doing it right makes it brutal.

The last station was where the boxing gloves came in. They use water bags, lighter than at Bash, and we do a simple, one, two, three combo, then switch lead hands. So, as a right-handed person, I threw a left jab, right cross, and left hook. Then I moved my right foot forward and hit a right jab, left cross, and right hook.

She put us through a good warmup. It focused on the muscles and movements that we’d be using in the workouts. It was effective, but not exhausting.

After the warmup we lined up at the second station in our desired lane. I took the gray lane. The class was packed, so the lighter lines were impossibly long.

The point of the class is for everyone to do three sets at each station. Meg distributed the longer lines and asked for help from regulars to add some lighter weights at the heavier stations. It went quick.

Next, the heads of the lanes decided what station to start at. I was second in line, and our group decided to start with the medicine balls. The second station. It seemed like each group had at least one regular who knew the drill, which helped Meg move things along.

The gray and the black stations had both 40 and 50 pound balls, plus a 25 for the diaspora from lower lanes. I selected the 40, because I got nothing to prove.

The exercise was simple enough at first, but Meg was great about correcting our form. Mine, mostly. The tendency when cradling the ball and side-stepping a foot at a time is to carry the ball low and lean forward. Meg explained the correct way is to carry it in the crook of the arms, but just below the chin. Also, to squat just a little, and lean just a bit forward. This engages the core and the shoulders. It makes it much tougher.

After a minute and 45 seconds, we have 30 seconds to get to the next station. The box steps were simple enough. The main thing is to select the box configuration that allows your leg to bed at 90 degrees. For me that meant leaving the box at the lower configuration. I got short legs. Then it’s just a slow rise with weight on the right foot, planting the left. And a slow descent of the right foot.

My legs handled this well, but the grip on the dumbbells was a problem after a while. The sweat made the 40 pounders slippery, and my grip has never been great. By the third round I had to pause and use my towel to wipe my hands, and rest.

Next was the bear crawl. You get in to position, then take two lateral steps to the right, and two to the left. Meg corrected me on this one too. The tendency is to sprawl out a bit when you crawl, but a proper bear crawl has the hands just under the shoulders and the feet nearly under the hips. This engages the quads in a way I couldn’t imagine. The entire core, really. No one, not even the regulars, could keep it up by round three.

The punching was fun. Meg moved me to the outer bag because I was taller than the girl on the end and there needed to be a certain rhythm. It was three punches on the strong lead, then step towards the weaker lead and swap. That meant you had to work at the same pace as your neighbor to avoid punching each other. Once on the end bag I just shuffled rather than step. By the end of the third round my loaner gloves were soaked. Kinda gross.

There was no cooldown, just the announcement we were on our last round. Then cleaning whatever station we were on, and some regulars helping rerack the equipment.

One caveat about the studio: the music playlist had language some may find offensive. There were only adults in the class.

It’s a great workout, and very technical. I love that they teach us proper form and that it engages the muscles so well. I am impressed that the soreness I felt the next day was so evenly distributed.

But, that wasn’t even out whole day.

Next, we went to Flow Yoga studio. John had to move and repark because Flow is a bit far to walk from MADabolic.

He got great parking, but finding the place was a challenge. The address is for a Chipotle. I was fine with that, but John figured something out. On the far end of Chipotle is a small door with three signs on it. A nail place, some salon, and Flow. Essentially, this is a narrow row house with three businesses on separate floors above Chipotle. It’s a city thing, I suppose.

We had to guess what floor Flow was on, but it stood to reason it was on the top because of the sign positions. The entire stairwell smelled strongly of incense.

This is a very nicely renovated stairwell, by the way. Bright and open. Likely a former industrial building that has been renovated to look like what hipsters think industrial buildings look like. It’s charming.

On the top floor, finally, we found Flow. We were a little early and that’s a good thing.

First, we were asked for our papers. That is, they needed to see our vaccination cards. We didn’t know this was a requirement. Mine is on my phone and that was fine. In the end we all managed some sort of credentials. There is a vaccination database in each state, so it seems like that could be leveraged, but Wheelers go with the flow.

They had cubbies for our shoes and other stuff. I was the only Wheeler who didn’t bring a mat, but they provide them there. A rack for clean and one for unclean. I did need my towel.

We found space and I figured I’d have good visibility of Meg, and other old yoga salts, but I’d also be visible.

I’ve done yoga once. Once. I knew I’d look like the kid who didn’t study, but that’s ok. Meg was very nice about saying there is no judgment in yoga. She did chuckle a few times though.

The space is great. Nicely polished wood floors. Natural light. AC that didn’t help me a lick, but on the top floor on a hot day there’s not much helping me.

Meg was perfect for this sort of thing. She had the demeaner of a kindergarten teacher. She’s young, fit, well into her pregnancy, and covered (near as I could tell) in lovely and tasteful tattoos.

I don’t know squat (Malasana?) about yoga, but I have an enormous amount of respect for it, especially when I see how bad I am at it, and how fit the people are who are good at it.

Apparently, there are five chakras or something. We had certain poses for each chakra, then cleanses with upward,

then downward facing dog. We did a lot of that. While I didn’t feel the struggle, I was pouring out sweat.

One of the poses suggested looping an arm behind your back and another through one leg and standing up. I tried, and it must have been adorable to watch. We all had a good laugh at the Tin Man dancing.

When we were instructed several times to link our hands behind our backs, lean forward, and lift our hands high, I got as far as lean forward. John and I spoke afterwards and decided on our best attempts no one would have been able to slip a sheet of paper between our arms and back. It’ll be hard if I ever get arrested.

In the and we lay back and relaxed. That was the second best part of the class for me. The best part was immediately after when we found the ice cold, eucalyptus infused wash cloths by our heads. Perhaps a big bowl of ice cream would have been better, but the odds are I would have smeared it all over myself like I did with the washcloth.

It was a good respite between MADabolic and brunch.

We decided to eat at Le Diplomat. It’s a well-trod stomping ground for our Brazilian-American, Spanish-German member, and we intended to make her jealous.

We had to kill 20 minutes before being seated. It may have been due to the crowds, but it was more likely because they had in mind one table for us. Outside, far from other patrons. We all stunk on ice, and there was no ice.

We perused the potpourri sections of Miss Pixie while we waited. It reminded me of a craft and consignment shop in Olathe Kansas I would highly recommend if I could remember the name. Similar stuff at half the price, but a bit of a drive.

Once we were seated, we ordered as much cold water as the strongest man could carry. The girls got sparkling Prosecco, I ordered a cider, and John the rebel got ice coffee.

To eat we all decided we wanted the avocado toast, except Lisa who got a good-looking salad with eggs and invisible prosciutto. A manager (I assume. He wore real clothes) brought out the missing prosciutto for Lisa. Since Mendy ordered first, John and I changed up our orders rather than appear unoriginal.

I was torn between the toast and a chicken club. I’m glad I chose the club. The bread was superb, the chicken and bacon tasted like nothing I’ve ever had, and the pom frites (French joint) were plentiful and marvelous. I may have been starved, but even if I wasn’t I’d have finished it.

That was our day. Afterwards, we shuffled back to stink up John’s car, and head back to Shirlington. We went our separate ways for long showers and longer naps.

This was another ClassPass day, and both classes were a little more than classes on the proper side of the Potomac, but worth it.

MADabolic is easy to find, save the front door. The studio and trainers are amazing. I expect they’re doing well since I’ve not been texted to death about membership yet.

Flow is a little tougher to find, and there’s the climb. If you yoga, then goga to Flowga. I sound like Jar-Jar friggin’ Binks, but it’ll stick in your head. It’s a nice studio and peaceful space. There’s plenty of DC sounds, ambulances, tires squealing, gridlock, but it still seems like an oasis in Babylon.

Lisa will most certainly have more marathon workouts soon. Stay tuned in case I survive.