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High-Strung: Rope Wall Yoga

I don’t know how Lisa finds these things. I imagine her spending hours scouring ClassPass to find something we haven’t done that sounds like it’ll be hilarious. In this case however, we didn’t use ClassPass.


Mind Your Body Oasis is a yoga studio in the Crystal City Underground that also offers infrared saunas, massage, and several other wellness services and instruction. Lisa and P used them for other services and had good things to say about the place and the staff. We were there, in the Underground, for rope wall yoga.


My father worked in Crystal City back when the underground mall opened. We were all excited when Mom took us there. The idea of an underground mall was intriguing. As a child I pictured caves. I wasn’t far off.


We didn’t have a lot of centralized shopping locations then. Springfield Mall had opened a year earlier but otherwise Landmark in Alexandria was where we went. Landmark was an open-air mall at the time. Pretty much the opposite of the underground.


These days Crystal City Underground is brighter and not entirely underground, at least in the atrium where we were. Mind your Body Oasis is off the atrium. Easy to find from the parking elevators.


The studio itself is small and narrow. There are cubbies by the entrance for shoes and larger cubbies further back for bags and larger items. You will go into the studio with bare feet, water, a towel and hopefully an open mind.


The entire studio smells nice. The incense they use is relaxing and pleasant. It reminds me of places in Taos, New Mexico. All the small local stores smell of sage, mostly.


Our instructor (our Meg) was Ebony. She seemed a bit shocked to have a full house. Lisa brought six people with her and that is more than the three they usually get. The room can accommodate 10. Nine students and the instructor.


Once we entered the room, I could see why Meg was concerned. It’s a small space that is in somewhat of a horseshoe shape. Without the protrusion in the center the room would be a little bigger than a single car garage.


The walls themselves were mostly dark pine that is varnished. I’m sure they are sturdy since Meg said each rope anchor can hold up to 500 pounds. Meg said we’re in trouble at 501 and looked at me. Lisa’s Matt worried she meant 500 pounds per wall. With three people per wall, we certainly exceeded that.


The dark varnished walls, small spaces and straps gave the feel of a old square rigged ship’s hold. The “ropes” are in fact straps. Like parachute webbing but a bit softer. It all looks military grade. The good military grade, very sturdy.


The class is an hour and 15 minutes. A lot of the time is used to set up straps for poses but also to explain how it all works.


How it all works


The straps are anchored to the walls using a keyhole type receiver and ball anchor. The ball goes in the keyhole, and you pull down until it locks in. It doesn’t take much to lock in or out, but the entire thing feels solid. I never feared any sort of 501 equipment failure.


There are five anchor points at various heights to be used for different poses. There are enough anchor points to allow two straps to be anchored at the same height for one station.


There are two straps per station and one sling that can be attached (slung) between the straps when the straps are anchored at the same height. The purpose of the straps and sling is to make it easier to hold certain poses. It removes the need to engage certain muscles to hold a pose longer.


I think this was only my third yoga class ever. I remember hot yoga in Alexandria and a top floor yoga (unintentionally hot) in DC. DC yoga was after we had gone to another gym in Georgetown.


I like yoga but I’ve always maintained I am as limber as the Tin Man after a rainstorm. Suffice it to say, as concerned I was that Lisa picked this class for its comedic value, I liked the idea of having a support system for holding poses.


We started with the sling in place. The idea was to get in to downward facing dog and work on superman poses. I think the Hindi for superman pose is Viparita Salabhasana. I don’t know if that applies to a Superman pose three feet above the floor. Regardless, with the strap it provided a good stretch.


More than anything it got us familiar with the equipment and gave us an easy pose to gain confidence. My only issue was that I had the sling right on my bladder. Putting my full and considerable weight on it was a little uncomfortable. In later poses I adjusted the sling position and didn’t have an issue.


The straps themselves (without the sling)  are used for other great stretching poses. We used them for hamstrings at one point and if I can figure out how to set up something safely at home for this I may.  Meg did not want us to suffer but to get right to the point where the stretch was on the edge of uncomfortable. I called for an oil can, but I could feel the hamstring start to loosen after a minute.


We did a number of poses but one of the more complicated poses was the half moon pose, left and right, using the straps to support the raised leg. I even got a compliment from the teacher for doing it right. That should tell you the straps help considerably.


"Here's another fine mess."

The penultimate pose was inversion, and this is what Lisa was waiting for. It was a little tough for some of us to figure out how to get upside down. Gettgin in the sling and walking up the wall, then making sure your legs are on the outside if the straps while upside down requires some thought, and Meg assistance. Meg said there is no way to fall out once we were in and she was right. Once I got there, I felt perfectly safe. Not safe enough to splay my legs out like a certain PhD we know, but I was comfortable. I believe having done the other poses prior to inversion gave me confidence in the system to where I had no fear.


My head was just touching the floor but there was no weight on it. I would have shortened the straps if there was. The fact that this pose is even allowed by the studio’s insurance speaks volumes to the confidence they have in the equipment.



The last pose was cervical traction. By now Meg knew about my neck injury and probably understood how beneficial this pose would be to me.


The strap is lengthened to where your head will be held just over the floor. You lay on your back, head towards the wall. The strap goes at the nape of the neck and not over the ears. I was in traction in physical therapy and the therapists taught me to use a towel slung behind the head to lift up for traction. The sensation is the same, though I think this method if more effective. It was the perfect way to end the class, for me at least.


The class wasn’t quite over. We had the final, lights out, meditative music, lay flat, and think about your life choices pose. This was good on a Sunday. Thinking of the universe and the creator of the universe. The universal spirit and the Holy Spirit. All that jazz.


Lisa rewarded our bravery and comedy by treating us to Copperwood in Shirlington for a late brunch or early supper. Lisa can recommend everything on the menu because she has had everything on the menu. Having great restaurants so close is great for someone who doesn’t like a dirty kitchen.

The team color coordinated

Rope wall yoga is great for any level yoger. I’m the rusty Tin Man and across from me was a traditional yoga instructor. I believe we both benefited. The cost is reasonable, and the studio uses a payment portal online that I already had access to. It’s simple to register so there’s nothing much to do when you get there. Bring a towel if you tend to sweat. The room has one door and no windows. It’s the Underground, after all.


Finally, make sure you go before October, 2024. After almost 50 years the Crystal City Underground is closing. I’ll be sad to see it go, especially now that I know parking is free and plentiful on Sunday. I suppose I'm party to blame, since I haven't gone back very often.


Change is inevitable. Mom told stories of when Crystal City was nothing more than an empty road lined with billboards. Mall or no mall, Crystal city has grown and will continue.


As for Mind Your Body Oasis, wherever this change causes it to relocate it's worth going.




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