L is for 50

It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me, that in fewer than seven days I will be 50 years old. As I have approached each milestone birthday in my life, I thought, “nn isn’t really that old anymore” nn being substituted for 30, 35, 40, 45.

I’ve said the same about 50, with regards to other people. After you’ve said, “He looks great for 50” enough times, you assume that 50 simply isn’t that old. But then it starts to settle in.

When I hit 40, I still looked young. But then I found that many of the previous 40 years had been waiting until I reached 40 to hit me. It’s true, certain years age you more than all the previous years combined.

That realization and a divorce convinced me to focus on my fitness. Those who knew me when I was married, and a horse breeder and trainer know that I tended to do things the hard way. If there was a job to be done that could be made easier with the use of some piece of equipment, I’d do it the hard way to try to build the muscles needed to do that job. Same with riding. I liked Western riding. You can be in the saddle all day and walk reasonably that night. English requires more leg and balance. So, when we started working with Hunter Jumpers I was on board. My adductors were legendary, and that’s all I’ll say about that.

I’ve complained, ad nauseam, about not being able to lose weight. Good friends say not to worry. That I look great just the way I am. I appreciate each of them. The issue becomes fear. If I eat 1300 calories a day and work out twice a day and still gain weight, I start to worry. We speak of metabolic adaptation, about eating too little to lose weight, and that’s a real thing. I fully expected to learn the secret formula and write about that. I even had my acceptance speech ready for the Nobel Prize in Fitness.

Along comes 50, and the compulsory checkup. Now, I was at the doctor for a new patient checkup about 18 months prior. It seems logical to have annual checkups, since there’s not even a copay. Seriously, I go to the dentist every 6 months and it costs me nothing beyond the premium, why not do the same thing every year to check the rest of my body? I can imagine my far-to-early funeral. “Too bad about his heart, but those are some fine teeth. Glad the undertaker made him smile.”

My heart is fine. My liver, kidneys and gallbladder were a concern, but I learned there’s a lot of sugar in red wine. So, don’t drink for a few days before your blood test. Fasting blood tests are best.

Anyway, this year. I’m approaching 50, as I said, and I’ve been a little run down. It helps that I have a skin irritation on my neck and a chronically sore elbow. I may have trouble going to the doctor just to go, but if I have other things to talk about, I’ll go.

My doctor is wonderful. We’ve met twice and I’ve not had to get naked yet. It’s a she, and she comes highly recommended. First, she mentioned my birthday and the test I have coming up soon. I detected a slight chuckle, but I’ll remember it as a maniacal laugh. I did ask if they knock you out for a colonoscopy now or if it’s like the old days, where they give you a bar to grab, tell you to grit your teeth and get a running start with a TV camera. She assured me it’s much more humane now.

She did say, much to both of our relief, that prostate exams aren’t a thing anymore. I’d heard that before and I’m glad to have lived long enough for that practice to fall in disfavor. Turns out, there’s not a lot they can tell from them, and they have had cases where the exam has caused erectile dysfunction. I imagine that’s rare, but I’m sure more can be determined from a tube with a camera jammed up in there.

With the pleasantries dispensed with, she ordered elbow x-rays and the usual blood-work. I learned the x-rays showed some sort of thing in the joint causing trouble. And no one wants trouble in their joint. I eventually went to an orthopedic and he said it’s not enough trouble to worry about. Bone chip floating about, but if it’s not locking up the elbow it’s not worth cutting. Just manage the inflammation.

I checked out the blood test results. Not too much different than 18 months earlier, but they wanted me to come in for more. This time it was early in the morning, so I fasted beforehand.

Turns out they were looking for a few things. They had detected a Vitamin D deficiency, so they have me on a huge dose of that for a month. They didn’t say they were looking for this, but they declared with great relief that I do not have diabetes. My father had it, although he was thin and strong, and my first tests came back with high blood sugars. After fasting I hit right in the middle of the scale, so all is well.

The other thing they were retesting for is one I knew about. I have low testosterone. It’s not unusual to have low T at this age, but I’m just a bit below the bottom end of the scale.

I looked at that and the Vit D deficiency online and see the possible symptoms. I have most of them except I grow body hair like a chia pet. I’m tired, can’t lose weight, and I should really be leaner.

Doctor prescribed AndroGel for 30 days and then more tests. That thrilled me more than it should have. The idea that I may actually be able to fix an issue and build more lean muscle is fantastic. Now, AndroGel tends to not have those sorts of effects until 3 or 4 weeks in, if at all. But, if it increases my T levels, my body may start working more efficiently.

My health insurance has no interest in covering this scrip, and I have no interest in paying $441 a month for testosterone spooge. I work for the health insurance company, so I’m trying to see what more is required besides it being medically necessary. For the record, I do not work in an area where I would have any influence on what gets approved or not. I don’t even know anyone who has pull.

Stay tuned. My hope is that I will get this spooge and be able to report out on it’s effectiveness. I have high hopes, but I know age could make it a longer road for me. Still, it’s funny to reach an age where I celebrate a potential health issue. It’s like being thankful there’s a reason for your car running like crap. At least there’s something to fix.