Run-da-Mental

The older I get the more convinced I become that the anthropologists are right, the human animal was not built to run long distances. We are predators, after all. We know this because or eyes point forward. We need to see what we’re chasing because we have to get to it fast.

Conversely, prey has great peripheral vision. Many can see practically behind themselves. This way, as they run for miles at a time, they can check to see if whatever is chasing them has gotten tired and moved on to something slower without having to turn around. The deer in the headlights phenomenon is most likely due to the deer seeing the biggest, fastest, and scariest predator it has ever seen and deciding to die on the spot. One wonders if, over time, evolutionary knowledge will tell the deer the big bad shiny-eyed predator will swerve to avoid it and if deer will start getting a bit uppity.

Running. We all do it at some point in our lives. Either as children bounding with glee or adults running for the bus with considerably less glee, our feet have moved faster than a walk. Both of those examples are predatory running that is ingrained into our genes after eons of evolution. It’s natural and it doesn’t last long. But then, the Greeks happened.

The Battle of Marathon took place in 490BC and it represents the first time the Greeks (Athenians, at any rate) ever won a battle, repelling the Persians. It was a big deal and ushered in the classical period. Legend says a runner ran 25 miles back to Athens with the news and promptly dropped dead. We won’t go in to the validity of the legend but I will say the Greeks had trained runners who could travel great distances for just this sort of thing. Fast forward to the first modern Olympic games in 1896. To commemorate the Battle of Marathon, they included a 25 mile (40K) foot race for the guys. Zip ahead another 12 years to the first Olympics in London where the royal family’s reviewing stand was 1.2 miles past the finish line and you know who to complain to that you have to run 26.2 miles rather than 25.

All of this history is wonderfully informative and the lesson represents my own procrastination to do any actual running. I’ll talk about it all day long in a soft chair, perhaps over a brandy and cigars, but to lace up the shoes and move those feet is another matter, entirely.

I have run five half marathons, two 17.75K races, two ten milers, and two 10Ks. Not a lot by most standards and no full marathons, which I had thought was something missing but after my last half (and I do mean my LAST half) I’m just fine with the 26.2 not checked off on my bucket list. I will say my second half marathon was supposed to be a full in Richmond but my hip was injured in my first half marathon so I switched to the half, under doctor’s orders. My doctor is a real runner, by the way, so I knew he wasn’t just being a doctor.

We left off in London, 1908. Let’s fast forward 108 years to 2016, Virginia Beach. The Rock and Roll Half Marathon is set to be run on the Sunday before Labor Day. A Tropical Storm hit the area early morning Saturday and I can speak for only one runner who genuinely hoped the thing would be cancelled. They did cancel the Saturday events and had to adjust a bit for Sunday but, by and large few people would have noticed the differences.

I ran this race last year for the first time, on its 15th anniversary. I hadn’t been training specifically for the half, even though I knew I was signed up, but I had been training. We had a group that ran hill drills in Alexandria (Hillbillies) most Saturdays and I kept that up on Mount Trashmore after I moved South. I wasn’t fast or particularly fit but my legs were well conditioned and in the end I was pleased with my time of 2:12. Pretty much a ten-minute mile.

My best half ever averaged a nine-minute mile and I was in shape for that one. I was consistent in the race last year and ran its entirety, which is my only real goal for these things. I did lose 4 toenails due to ill-fitting shoes but it wasn’t that bad.

Last year, near the finish line I noticed several fit looking young men begin carried off to waiting ambulances (ambuli?). Everything turned out fine except for one 17 year old boy who was clinically dead for a while and in a coma for a very long time after that. He was back at the race this year though. Confined in a wheelchair but able to stand for periods of time. This defies doctor’s expectations and I fully expect the young man will finish his race at some point.

The point of that is that I didn’t feel like I had any right to survive the race, considering how little I trained and how fit the fall-outs seemed to be last year. The key, apparently, is eating. I had friends visiting the week leading up to the race and I didn’t restrict myself to just protein.

Between the work I was putting in running and the eating I ran the thing and felt fine after, save for sore toenails. Just a note, my running friends are still talked about for their legendary carb loading. These are real runners and they know how to eat. The week following the race is still called the great pasta famine around here, thanks to them.

Since I’ve settled in to life at the beach I’ve rather eschewed the idea of cardio. I’ve been lifting and doing only a bit of cardio, mostly running, but not training at all. It’s not entirely because I’m working on gains and not focused on cardio as much, it’s also weather related. This Summer was hot, humid and wretched. One is reminded that we are near one of the earliest European settlements on the continent. We are also reminded that the life expectancy for Europeans was, generously, two years here in the early days. My family was here then so I’m a bit proud to be descended from survivors but it doesn’t help me much. It’s tropical here and that is part of the reason the African slave trade came in to being. The weather is that nasty, yes. So, partly because of temperatures that could lead to the oppression of an entire race for centuries, I didn’t run much outdoors this Summer.

I ran on the treadmill a few times a week, but only three – five miles at a time. Any distance over five miles on the treadmill is expressly forbidden for use in the interrogation of enemy combatants by the Geneva Convention. It’s not pleasant. I did run outdoors a few times after work but, again, much over three miles was tough. So with that little conditioning I drove to the parking garage at 0530 on Sunday before Labor Day and walked the ten blocks to the shuttle buses, alone.

I should take a moment to point out I got new shoes for this and ran 5X3 mile runs to break them in. Never, ever buy shoes online. I don’t care if it’s the exact make and model of what you wear now, always go to an expert, unless you want to lose four toenails, and you don’t. I went to Running Etc in VA Beach and told the woman there what I needed and my history. It turns out I was wearing the right make and model for my feet. The shoes I lost nails to were bought online because I knew I liked the shoes. Turns out the models can change from year to year and these ran a bit smaller than they had previously. We tried a few on and she determined that I needed to wear that shoe, in a larger size. I’ll admit more than a little pride at the news that I was wearing a full size larger than I’ve worn since high-school. I know it’s not a real gain but I still felt good. I took a test run in work clothes and we all agreed this was the way to go. I paid the same price I would have paid online and the same price I paid three years ago in Alexandria. Get an expert, it costs you nothing.

At the race, the crowd was much smaller than last year due to the storm and travel restrictions. There was virtually no wait for the bathrooms and while I was in there I felt no pressure to hurry up. It was that sparse. More people showed up closer to the starting time but it was still pretty thin.

I did my drop-off and milled about for a while. I wasn’t going to do the bag check this year but on the advice of the lady at Running Etc I packed flip flops and a dry shirt. I usually do a shirt but she said it feels so good to get the shoes off after a run. I remembered that from skiing as well. Nothing felt better after a day in storm trooper boots than slipping my feet into fake suede bags lined with fake fur and a rudimentary sole. Like butter. I’m glad I packed the flops but I really needed to pack a wheelchair.

The pre-race things were standard and well done. The race started and it took about 12 minutes for my corral to get across the start line. I was corral 8, which expected to finish in 2:15. I knew to take it slow the first three miles, and it seemed most of the other folks did too. It wasn’t crowded this year and everyone seemed polite and aware of their surroundings. A few times I even had a gentle touch on the shoulder from folks passing. It was a nice gesture, professional and appreciated. I didn’t try it myself, because I mostly passed women and I’m certain I would have done it wrong.

The weather was perfect. It was cool, overcast and breezy. A little damp but just the right kind of cool. My breathing was easy and heart rate felt perfect. My splits for the first half of the race were great. I even thought at the 10K line I might best my time from last year. I knew better, deep down, but endorphins make you an idiot. When I looked later I was hitting between 9:30 and 9:45 each mile and not feeling any real cardiopulmonary strain at all. I’m pleased with that, at least.

About mile eight I started feeling it in the legs. That weariness that comes from your legs knowing they’ve hit their limit. They hadn’t, by then, but they were sending me warnings. Mile nine was when they started cramping for real. I’ve felt this before at the Richmond marathon. It was cold, like 33 degrees cold, and crowded. I ran fine then but at the finish line I started cramping. I was in a huge crowd just trying to keep moving. My hotel was close by, up a hill, so by the time I get there and hydrated and in a hot shower I was in better shape. Later, after two hours in the car, getting out and walking was a challenge though.

I tried to ignore the cramps this time. My goal is to run the entire race so I slowed to a shuffle and tried to carry on. At this point they had electrolytes and popsicles as well as the water and Gatorade stops. I grabbed everything I could and took longer and longer to start running again. Finally, I had to admit I had to be practical if I expected to finish the thing so I stopped and stretched about every half mile and stayed at a shuffle the rest of the time. My last mile I averaged over 12 minutes.

I finished and that was only the start of my trouble. The crowd on the boardwalk was thick and slow. I had to shuffle on cramping legs, looking for everything I could to try to get potassium and whatever else my body needed. I love chocolate milk. I found an exit and a truck parked that offered a good bumper for me to lean on and stretch. It was enough to get me recovered enough to walk to the bag pickup which was mercifully close.

Getting the bag and finding a bit of curb (which was prime real estate, everywhere I went) I set about the task of removing my shoes. Now, when I say my legs were cramping I don’t mean my calves or quads or glutes, I mean it all. I couldn’t bend my right leg enough to reach my shoe without sending my adductor into a spasm that made me want to cry, seriously. I knew not to move my feet at the ankles or my calves would have started. It took 30 minutes for me to get my flip flops on and then I wasn’t sure how I could get up. I decided to keep my right leg straight and use my upper body as much as I could to push myself up. I think I must be good at masking pain because no one near me asked if I needed help. I did but I honestly don’t think anyone was being rude. I even chatted with one young couple about the benefits of packing flip flops. My feet felt great. Those shoes were perfect.

I had planned on walking back to the parking garage on 31st street. It was only about 15 blocks. But when I came across the buses around 20th street I had no intention of walking past. Everyone else on the bus was going to the same garage and they seemed pretty happy so I didn’t feel too bad. Once at the garage I had to cross the street and figure out how to get to the top floor. Because we were parking in a hotel lot for a good price they had us park up top. No problem with that. I saw they had an elevator when I came in but, of course, that’s not the entrance I picked coming back. In the end I climbed the five stories and walked he full length of the garage across the roof to get to my car.

Driving wasn’t an issue and by the time I was home I had loosened up a lot. After a lot of hydrating, a muscle relaxant and long hot bath I was doing quite well. I took a short nap but I wasn’t that exhausted. If the storm hadn’t washed the beach away I might have gone out. I was sore for a few days but not as bad as I expected.

So, I learned my legs were just not conditioned for the run. The rest of me was doing fine and my capacity to recover wasn’t bad. Nutrition is another issue. I put on some stress weight the weeks before the race so I may have held back on the carb loading, but my energy level was fine as well. The real lesson is I don’t want to do half marathons anymore. Ten milers, 10K and 5K will be great and fairly easy to prep for but the, for me the 13.1 is done. Especially since it’s supposed to only be 12.5. Friggin’ King Edward VII.

For the review, I say do it. In spite of my own issues the race and events here are fantastic. The expo beforehand is fun, parking is easy enough and the race itself is managed better than most, with the exception of the exit after the finish. They try to move everyone along but it’s crowded and slow. The bands on the race path are good and the acts they have after are even better. They had an issue with travel because of the storm so Culture Club (I think) couldn’t get here so they had to get someone closer. I heard it was Springsteen. I know I should take advantage of free admission for these shows but after the race I’m done with crowds.

The Rock and Roll races are some of the best run races on the East coast. If you feel the need to run that far for that long these are the ones to run.