Overcoming Gravity

A boy’s (or tomboy’s) natural inclination when confronted with a tall, straight tree with sturdy, even branches is to climb. Hospital ER records of broken arms and legs support this theory. It may be because we want to be tall, or look out across creation as its temporary master but it’s most likely because people like puzzles, the bigger the better. Hauling one’s self up a tree requires understanding physics, figuring out the right course to the next level and also discovering physical limitations.

This desire to challenge one’s self does not end with adulthood but common sense dictates there be a safety harness involved after a certain age. Enter Go Ape Treetop Adventure at Rockcreek Park in Maryland. goape.com

Lisa, of the Wheelers, had done this adventure on her own and insisted this was exactly the sort of thing the Wheel of Fitness needed to do. We agreed when Lisa pointed out that if she can do it then it would be a cakewalk for the rest of us. A cakewalk eighty feet in the air on shaky rope obstacles but a cakewalk nonetheless. We discovered, over the course of the day, it’s a bit more challenging than that and as a result gained new respect for Lisa’s abilities.

We arrived by 10AM, parked easily and walked to the little cabin full of perky GoApe people in harnesses. We explained our business there and they were all thrilled. It seems people living in trees are thrilled all the time, and why not? We filled out the forms confirming our understanding of the certainty and finality of our deaths and were merrily marched with the rest of the group of twelve into the woods.

Our first Meg was Erika. For those just joining us our first two instructors for various classes were named Meg so all instructors are now called Meg. This Meg is a young woman with great knowledge and authority. Good thing to have in that job since, if she sees someone about to make a fatal mistake it’s important to speak up. She was fit for the job.

She explained the harness we would each be wearing and the various parts. There are four important, delay-death parts. The green D ring in front that may not be green, the red carabiner on a longish lead, the blue carabiner on a shorter lead and the blue pulley to be used on the zip lines. The blue biner matches the blue pulley to lock the rig to the zip line.

The number one rule at GoApe is to always stay attached. Always. One may think about being cavalier but once up in the canopy you will want to be attached in every possible way. At least I did.

She adjusted our harnesses and explained that only trained employees can adjust the harnesses by law. I remember from skydiving that only an FAA licensed packer can pack a reserve chute in a student rig. I was perfectly fine with her making the adjustments and the harness wasn’t as uncomfortable as I expected.

We then took turns on a ground level practice area to get familiar with the equipment and where to attach what. It seemed simple enough but after we finished and waited for the rest of the group to finish we had forgotten all of it. Not to worry, Meg went over it all for us again before we went to station one.

She gave us the code for the gates at each station. Remember that boys and trees go together like gravity and injury so they have to keep the place gated. The code is changed daily as well.

The first course isn’t very high and is mostly to get more familiar with the equipment. We learned about the fall arrestor rope. I had wondered how they would protect us while we climbed so this was welcome news. You attach at 3 points to the rope and in the event of a fall it stops you. Simple as that. You can get a little tangled up in this at first but it’s not hard to figure out.

The first platform wasn’t very high but it was high enough to take seriously. Meg walked us through the simple obstacles and made certain we did everything safely. At the end of each course there’s a zip line to get back to the forest floor. This one was short and simple and we all landed on our feet. Meg explained three ways to land depending on how you come in. For a straight landing, get a running start and land on your feet. Sideways, lock the legs behind you and drag your feet to stop. Backwards, drag your heels. It turns out we found a fourth way and used that most of the time. More on that later.

At course number two we had a delay. We had to wait for a hornet’s nest under the platform to be dealt with. We were fine waiting if it meant not getting stung.

The climb was longer and the platform higher this time. It took me a minute to adjust to being higher off the ground. We were about twenty feet, I’d estimate. This is where I started to get good about making sure my safety equipment was properly connected. I found throughout the day that each time we changed elevation I had to get accustomed to it. Being on the narrow platform with no rails was disorienting for me even though I trusted the safety equipment. Skydiving didn’t have the same effect on me. I had no trouble hanging from a plane because I had spent a day learning how to avoid death. As it was, once I was on an obstacle, with few exceptions I was much better. Having to focus on a task helped.

Each course has a few as four and probably as many as ten different obstacles and I can’t recall which ones were at what course so I’ll do my best to highlight the most interesting ones even if they are out of order.

Course two was relatively simple but more difficult than course one. The memorable part of this was our zip line landings. The fourth way to land it to turn your back to the huge pile of soft mulch in the landing pit and be dragged on your back until you stop. Somehow, no matter what you do you will turn in the air so you’re facing backwards when you reach ground. Oddly, one you are backwards you stop turning. The forest was filled with echoes of people on zip lines yelling, “Oh come on!” and “Really?” We all joined in the chorus.

Course three was higher and harder. There are two particular obstacles that are challenging and there is a shortcut to avoid them. Lisa had done these before so she went around.

The first one I found tough was a long bridge of narrow logs suspended round end up. They like to try to flip. You are securely connected to the overhead line and the cable is there to steady you but it’s tough. This was one of the first obstacles where I thought I might be testing the safety equipment and just sliding across. It wasn’t the last. Oddly, I wanted to complete each obstacle because I could see how to get across. I didn’t know how I’d get across using the harness. On a side note, a gentleman ahead of us used the harness and the cables more often than not, opting to not even try many obstacles.

The next challenge came immediately after the log bridge. I watched John and Patricia do this first and it looked hard. This is where Patricia lost her sunglasses so I made sure mine were tight on my face. This obstacle had five or six rope nets suspended on either side of the cable we attached to. So the way to get over is to climb on to one net, climb sideways a few feet and then turn to mount the next net. This took a while and was a real workout. We found that mounting higher was easier but it was also easy to get your trailing foot tangled when transitioning. I did it twice before I figured out to support my weight with my hands that were holding either net. When straddling the nets you feel more stable and by the end of the obstacle I had it figured out. I was spent but more confident.

There were more obstacles but eventually we zip lined down into a back full of mulch. Meg was nice enough to go find Patricia’s sunglasses that were, wise on Patricia’s part, red.

Course four was not the hardest necessarily, but the most frightening because course four is the highest. Each obstacle is higher than the last. I estimate we were eventually eighty to one hundred feet up. The other thing we discovered is all the platforms are the same width, regardless of the tree diameter and to be that high up they needed some thick trees which reduced the platform space. Every movement that happens that high up the tree shakes it. It’s the same effect as being on a higher floor in a building during an earthquake. This was where I considered quitting except for three things. 1) I don’t quit; 2) there’s really no way down except to go up to the zip line and; 3) this is the highest obstacle so I figured if I could get over this I’d be better on five and six.

The obstacles were slightly more difficult but by and large they were variations on unstable things to walk across. The distance from the ground was the most unnerving part but, again, once I was focused it was easier for me.

The obstacle I had trouble with and should not have was a simple rope crossing that took us over the road and to the next tree. You simply sit in your harness and use the rope to pull yourself across. I made the mistake of going hand over had laying under the rope. It occurred to me that I could flip over and that wasn’t something we talked about in training. I knew I had a rescue whistle on my harness but help was at least eighty feet away. Luckily it was easy for me to reorient myself to sitting position and pull myself over with my hands on either side of me. John, who is a veteran in every sense of the word and has done these sorts of things for fun and in Ranger school explained that I was never in any real danger and my initial technique may be frightening but it’s acceptable. I suppose I can trust someone who can repel by running straight down a cliff face.

The zip line at the end of this seemingly endless course was the most welcome thing I had seen all day. It was also the longest line that went through the most trees and back over the road. The zip lines must all be at about the same angle because I never felt like I was going any faster on any of them. It’s a lovely ride, really, and then the mulch. By now I was starting to figure out how to plant my feet and hold myself up using my core but I still dragged.

I felt exhilarated after that course once I was back on the ground. Winston Churchill once said, “Nothing in life is so exhilarating than being shot at without result” I suppose I felt like I had dodged a bullet. Still, Lisa’s innate ability to accurately predict the severity of our injuries if we fell from a particular height (“Yeah, this would kill us”) as we went through the course was less than comforting.

Course five and six were lower but the obstacles were more challenging. The two that stand out on five were one after the other and there was a short cut around them. The first was a trapeze bridge of logs suspended from ropes overhead to step across. These are fairly simple once you get the rhythm but stepping on a swing high above the forest floor with only the swing to hold on to is daunting.

Then the tree rings. The obstacle is made up of a number of metal rings each suspended from a single rope. I saw several people ahead of us not make or not even attempt it. The trouble is, if you don’t use the rings it’s hard to pull yourself across on the cable and the ropes get tangled up. The first person I saw get across successfully was Patricia and our young, fit Brazilian was spent by the end.

I was up next and perfectly fine with failing this obstacle. I stepped in the first ring and held the rope. It took a lot of grip and upper body strength to stay upright but it wasn’t as unstable as I expected. The next trick is transitioning. The ropes are just a bit too far for my short arms to reach and since the ropes are all attached to the same cables the rings swing when you move. So this required good timing and eye to foot coordination. Most times I got my foot into the ring first or about the same time I reached out for the rope. I never missed and if I did I may not have been able to recover. At one point two of the rings ahead of me were wrapped around each other and well out of reach. I had to swing and reach to try to get just enough of the rope and hope they would separate themselves. The physical exertion on my entire body was enormous and I didn’t understand how much of my body I had to use until I saw the picture Lisa took of me on the rings.

Once I got past that challenge my rhythm was pretty well set and I made it the rest of the way. My hands were shaking from holding myself up on the thin ropes and Lisa left her phone for me to take a picture of John on the rings. It was hard to hold steady so I took a few and only one came out stable. John had the same challenges and agreed this was a workout.

The zip line on this one had a skateboard mounted to two cables so you get to surf half way down before the harness takes over for the rest of the ride. It was great fun and much easier than I expected. Patricia took a running jump onto the board and did just fine. I think the SUP will eventually get boring for her and she’ll end up big wave surfing. Or heli-skiing.

My landing improved and I was able to hold myself off the ground when I came in. The cost was both of my shoes filled with mulch. A quick word about shoes. I thought about wearing hiking boots and I would have been fine but certain things like the rings may have been tougher to do. I wore old Sketcher trail runners and that gave me enough dexterity but they also held up to being filled with mulch.

Course six is the one with the most screams. There are only about four obstacles but the big one is the Tarzan swing. From your perch forty or fifty feet off the floor you attach at all three points to a cable. You then step off (not jump, never jump) and you drop into an arc that slams you, eventually, into a large rope net. You then bounce off the net and fly back up towards where you started and then back to the net again. The second time you can grab hold because the energy or your swing is spent. You climb the rope net diagonally to the platform where you transfer your safety points as usual, and send the cable up to the next victim.

A few notable moments. The gentleman ahead of us was a really good sport, it must be said. His wife told him to jump rather than step off. He asked, “Is that a thing, jumping?” And the rest of the crowd with her ensured him it was a thing. It’s not a thing, as I noted earlier. The drop is not unpleasant if you step off but it still squeezes the wind from you for a moment. That’s where the screams come from. So the sound this gentleman made when his downward momentum was halted was more of an “ooof” because all his wind came out at once. He survived and found it amusing and we heard they already have all the children they wanted anyway.

Lisa had a scream but it wasn’t anything more than a shout of joy. I think her having done this before made it more fun for her.

Next up was our nerves-of-steel Brazilian. She had to reach to get the cable back but had no issues with the height. The swings, there are two total, have a structure built on either side so you feel more secure and enclosed. I was on the platform with her and checked her connections. It never hurts to have a second set of eyes. She was hooked perfectly. She had to get her mind right to step off and even then is was a bit of a sit. Then it happened. When the wind is squeezed from you it can sometimes form words, or a word. The strange thing about the forest and this particular forest is how quiet it is. I feel certain GoApe set up this particular swing in the part of the forest where sounds resonates the best. So our multilingual Wheeler knows Portuguese, English and, as we learned, French. Everyone on the ground erupted in laughter and one woman shamed her for saying a bad work. She will try to say she thought she was coming in low so she warned everyone to “duck” but the forest records events like this. A convocation of eagles flew from the treetops, never to return, squirrels stampeded away and Bambi just stood and cried.

For my step of faith I had a number of hilarious lines about Spiderman ready to go but once I stepped off and felt the force of my weight and momentum all I could manage was “GwaaaaaSpiderman!”

John came after and we watched a real pro at work. No sound, body in the proper position the entire way and a perfect dismount. We scolded him for not screaming but I suppose screaming is not encouraged when one is trained to sneak up on the enemy.

Then our final slide down the zip and into mulch. I managed to stay off my back again and then learned that Patricia had been able to turn herself around and come in feet first the last two times. We were still dirty but not as dirty.

The final zip line ends at the cabin and we had a wonderfully chipper bearded Meg there to greet as at the end. So we got our photo-meg and then he took pictures of us to prove how dirty we got. After this we peeled off our filthy clothes and put clean ones on our filthy bodies to go downtown for “A Taste of Peru” event which was, mercifully, outdoors with pungent food aromas to cover our own pungency.

All in all we spent three and a half hours there. Gearing up, training and then gearing back down burned about thirty minutes or so. We didn’t feel like we had to wait very long except on course four which takes more time because of all the climbing involved. I am particularly proud that none of us fell. We wouldn’t have fallen due to the safety harnesses but even without them we would have survived the obstacles. Not the ones that require the harness, like the zip lines but ones using our hands and feet, but anyway.

The weather was perfect. Not too humid or hot. The only time we broke sweats were on the obstacles that were particularly challenging. The bugs didn’t bug us much. I heard maybe one mosquito. The hornets were an issue at course two but by the time we got up there we didn’t see any.

This is a workout but any fitness level can do it. The workout comes, again, on the hard obstacles and also because you’re doing these things for several hours. I estimated I burned six hundred calories on this. Bring gloves. They’re not required but they help on a few obstacles. Water is provided at the base of each course and I needed it, not because of my sweat but the dry mouth I got from clinging to trees for dear life high above the forest floor.

This is worth the price of admission which isn’t cheap but this is a well-run operation and it will get you doing things you never thought you could do. Any adventure you can walk or even stagger away from is a good one!